Professor Reynolds’s Top Ten Songs NOT to Listen To When Studying For The Bar

Top Ten Songs NOT To Listen To When Studying For The Bar

The last thing you need when studying for the bar is for a song to hijack your headspace.  Below you will find ten songs that may counteract your productivity, so do not click any of the links below.  Of course, in the spirit of rooting out all needless distractions to bar study, you are welcome to add to this list in the comments.

  1. It’s a Small World. Check out this version from Disneyland Paris, at Slightly amusing nerd exchange in the comments as to whether the Earth is indeed a small world. This song can also prompt musings about rapid globalization and whether you should have studied Chinese instead of Law.
  1. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record), Dead or Alive. All I know is that to me, you look like you’re lots of fuuuun! Classic stuck-in-your-head song, made even more frustrating by how difficult it is to get the words exactly right when you try to sing along.  Do you spin me “around”?  “Round”?  “Right round”?  And when? Definitely a stalker mantra.
  1. Pressure, Queen. You don’t need any more pressure.  Why focus on it?
  1. Hey Mickey, Toni Basil. Is this song an attractive nuisance?  Discuss.   Fun fact: Toni Basil appeared in Five Easy Pieces with Jack Nicholson and is now 71.  She’s a singer, songwriter, dancer, choreographer, and actor.  Hey Mickey may have been a one-hit wonder, but Toni Basil has had a pretty interesting and varied career.  Trust me, at some point you start thinking about things this way. Also, when you start thinking about exactly why and exactly how Mickey is so fine, your mind travels to very unbar-like places.
  1. Heartbeat Song, Kelly Clarkson. Any benefits you might derive from the  feel-good nature of this and any other Kelly Clarkson song are outweighed by (a) stuck-in-your-head factor; and (b) unhelpful emphasis on thinking of yourself as a victim.  This song isn’t too bad with regard to (b), but it’s a definite (a) problem.
  1. Man or Muppet (Bret McKenzie). You are a man (or a woman), not a muppet. OK?  It’s appropriate somehow that Flight of the Conchords intersects with the Muppet tradition.  This is a catchy anthem of the “heard it once, know it by heart forever” variety.  Maybe we could rework it using Puddles somehow, but not until after July.
  1. Had a Bad Day, Daniel Powder. On the plus side, rest assured that nothing you write in the essay portion of the exam could possibly be as clunky and nonsensical as the lyrics of this song. But, in the interest of not tempting Fate, you don’t want to pre-emptively soothe yourself for having a bad day.
  1. Bananaphone, Raffi. Tunes playing on an endless loop is a problem that starts at a young age.  Exhibit A, songs by Raffi.  Don’t watch this unless you don’t mind having less Barbri capacity.
  1. Jar of Hearts, Christina Perri. Don’t succumb to self-pity. No one made you date that horrible person or sit for the bar exam.
  1. Game of Thrones theme. The correct approach to the bar exam is one of disinterested technical acuity with a healthy dose of luck. Kind of like a sniper from the Bourne Identity. The swirling cellos that weave a world of massive armies and courtly intrigue will simply take you down the wrong emotive path.

Winter is coming!  If you already have the GoT theme stuck in your head, this might help:

Honorable mention: I think we’re alone now.

One response to “Professor Reynolds’s Top Ten Songs NOT to Listen To When Studying For The Bar

  1. I have communicated with a couple of you classmates while you study for the bar. I am sorry it sucks so much. You KNOW what I think about our generation’s legal, political, and economic status quo! Just remember what India Anette Peyton said to her granddaughter during the Civil Rights Movement, “Dignity is a state of mind, just like freedom. These are both precious gifts that no one can take away unless you allow them to.”

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